We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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