if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize