yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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