Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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