...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
