Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
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I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
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The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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