Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
