I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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