Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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