Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So many bounce houses so little time
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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