we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
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was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
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Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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