Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
