Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
