HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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