I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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