Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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