theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
