I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
