So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
and you fell through a lawn chair
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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