So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
There's always time for handjobs
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
