The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
