Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
