hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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