every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
