If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
