The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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