if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
ugly people sure do ruin things
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
