8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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