so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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