pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
