Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
