if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
