He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
