hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
