She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize