Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
