mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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