i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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