people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
