do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
