The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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