Come see our sink grown plant.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
