Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
