He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
In America we eat man semen.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
