before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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