I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
