I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
