I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
