i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
