We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
