Non-Jews are for practice
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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