Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
