My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
