Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
