Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize