he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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